garlick bread

my friend matthew (we have the same birthday but he’s 5 years older)

he used to cut my hair in the late afternoon kitchen, gringy yellow like those 70s men’s dress slacks (flat fly, low waist) from the village thrift

he would say soooo, what you’re telling me is

(purring)

what you want is

ooo, looky a hot boy from the back

but!

ooo, looky, a hot girly dyke from the front,

plus audrey hepburn

he would say—you can either cut hair or you cannot

the only reason to go to beauty school is to learn how to hold the damn scissors and comb in one hand

this is his recipe for garlic bread, or rather here’s the email he sent me when i asked for it:

hello slishalicious:

i am not sure this is in time as i have not checked my email lately, but i hope it helps “pave the way” for tastier things…here’s my recipe for garlic bread…….

1 nice loaf of French bread (i prefer a good combination of length and width as opposed to the traditional long and thin) and 1 loaf is not always enough for 2 people

garlic chopped to taste (the more the better i say) chopped/pressed/diced/or beaten into submission

1 stick of real butter per loaf (nothing faaat-free about this decadent treat) put out ahead of time to soften

4 or 5 pinches of paprika

bottle of wine that goes w/the planned meal

the tasty boi or gurl (depending on preference or both if you wish) perched on a stool

pre-heat oven to 350 degrees’ pour glass of wine and swirl the bouquet on your tongue w/the gurl on the stool

whip the butter ‘til creamy

add garlic

more wine

stir in paprika

taste butter and add more garlic or paprika- to taste

more wine and kisses, mild fondling is not inappropriate here

slice bread into desired size pieces but do not cut all the way through,

leave a little crust to hold it all together

butter both sides of the pieces (very important for that dripping with goodness taste)

wrap in foil and put in oven for 10 minutes

use the 10 minutes to open another bottle of wine for dinner (as surely you will need another by now) and “stir” up some pleasant sensations in the boi

after 10 minutes open the foil and bake for another 3 minutes to ensure a crispy crust and a moist center….

remove from oven and enjoy…

let me know how dinner went.

love always….matthew

serve with puttenaio, duh.

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