block of tofu
between kitchen towels under a weight (like the joy of cooking but put a plastic bag or waxed paper under it so it doesn’t soak your book).
Heat a big fry pan—like a 12 inch cast iron skillet—and add 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil. Sauté the onions and celery for a few minutes then add the garlic. Cook until the onions are translucent. How long this takes will depend on how high your heat is and the volume of veggies you are cooking. I like to cook it on high heat, stirring often, to move things along.
Crumble the tofu into the pan. I leave it in fairly big chunks; some folks like their tofu scramble in rubbley little bits. I think it is supposed to make it more “scrambled-egg like,” but I am against pretending food is not what it is and i don’t like the texture of nubbley mush. Let the tofu brown a bit then sprinkle in 2 teaspoons or so of turmeric and a half teaspoon or so of cumin. Stir in a tablespoon of Bragg’s or soy sauce.
Slice whatever mushrooms you have into similar sized parts for even cooking. For example, slice about half a dozen crimini mushrooms into three parts each; take the stems off if they are really woody but on the very small ones especially (which you can just cut in half) you can leave the stems on. Add the mushrooms and cook the whole mess for about another 10 minutes or so, until the mushrooms are juicy. You may want to cover the pan. If you have a lot of mushrooms, you may want to cut them along with all the other veggies and just set them aside until they need to be added to the pan.
tofu scramble—just like omelets—lends itself to incorporating pretty much whatever veggie leftovers you have around. That pile of greens you made last night with hot sauce, that half a can of chick peas in the fridge, or some of those tomatoes your neighbor brought over because his garden exploded at the end of the summer are all candidates for tofu scramble. You can serve it with that last ½ inch of salsa in the jar. Although humble and accommodating, tofu-scramble is utterly brunch-worthy, and in my opinion, stands up to a bloody mary as well as any omelet.